How Can You Compete With Quality Inn?

In my recent travels, we’ve been exposed to a significant amount of hotel chains. Although we have still not stayed at one, we have been impressed by the brand, “Quality Inn.”

You ever had a great idea, and you find out someone else already has taken it and then made a terrible approximation of it? That’s the Quality Inn.

I don’t mean to put down a fine establishment that I’ve never stayed in. But, I’m sure if you took a medieval knight a plopped them in the middle of Virginia, they would be blown away by a Quality Inn.

Quality Inn’s are fine two-star hotels, but is that really the definition of quality now? Are Amazon sweatshirts considered quality?

Sure they come in XXL and combine American flags, eagles, and beer, but is it going to last through the next flood?

Why don’t we embrace America as it is? Forget about Quality Inns. It’s time for…

Quantity Inn

In the battle of quality versus quantity, America chooses quantity.

The Office doesn’t understand true Americans.

That’s right. Quantity. Always Quantity.

You arrive at your hotel room and see it’s clean and organized. Sure it’s outdated, and the shower looks like Germany won the war. But that’s as high of a level of quality as you need.

You now want more. You don’t care that the blanket is a floral design to hide the bloodstains. You want a mini-fridge. No, you want a full fridge stocked with beer and a freezer filled with pizza rolls. Is that enough?

At Quality Inn, we not only fully stock a full-size plain white refrigerator for you.

We also give you every single streaming service available. Not just Netflix, Hulu, and HBO Max. Not even ESPN+, Discovery+, and Fandango Now. I’m talking about DAZN, Twitch, and PokerGo.

You want towels?

Steal all of our shampoo and conditioner. In fact, we’ll give you a faucet of it.

Stay at Quantity Inn. Obesity in residence form.

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