I have run every day for nearly ten years. I have played video games since the NES. I have spent thousands of dollars on cameras I barely know how to use. It is time to combine my obsessions into one sweaty mess.
I have flirted with this idea before. I played Diablo II Resurrected on a treadmill almost four years ago. But I only did it twice. I struggled with camera setup and audio quality. I gave up within a week.
What if I tried a different angle? What if I tried making something bigger than myself?
The Pitch
RunSpeedrun. I attempt to speedrun video games while running on a treadmill.
The Concept
Speedrunning is about precision, muscle memory, and finding glitches in a game’s code. Why not add a layer of cardio?
I want to try maintaining an intense pace while trying to parry a punch from Mike Tyson or dodge a screen full of projectiles in Cuphead. The tension doesn’t just come from the game; it comes from my heart rate spiking and my coordination failing as the miles pile up.
This could be like a beer mile. Instead of having to finish four beers, you have to finish a video game. It could also be like the Taco Bell 50K, but instead of visiting 10 Taco Bells, you have to beat every mainline Mario Bros game and run 50K.
The Lineup
I need games that induce stress. I need games where a single mistake ruins the run.
- Hades: I have escaped the Underworld dozens of times, but how fast can I beat the game, run at least a mile and finish in the top 50 (Under six minutes)?
- Cuphead: I have 200% this game. But I didn’t do while bouncing up and down on a treadmill. The current speed record is 27m08s. The WR for a 10K is 26m11s. How fast can I do both?
- Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!: I have beaten this game twice in a row while running 7 MPH. But how many times could I beat it and run a half-marathon?
- MTG Arena: This is my daily routine now. I consistently make poor choices because my brain can’t handle everything that is going on. How many miles would it take me to rank up to Mythic?
What’s Next?
I now need to figure out what exactly needs to be done to make this unreality real. What hardware do I need? What software? Do I need to set up any organizational structures?
